see

energy surrounds us. it flows through us, around us,

among us & between us.

even in death. 

i was 18 years old & flew home one evening from a summer trip. i threw my luggage in the front hall & darted off for the hospital. i made my way up to the wing where my coach lay dying. it was my turn to say goodbye to a woman i had come to love like a mother. 

i walked into the room. her labored breathing was all i could hear, as she held onto her last threads of life. i approached her bedside & leaned in, tears streaming down my face. i made some promises to her, whispered “i love you” & “it’s okay to let go.”

she died within the hour. 

my teammates & i went back to her home that night to share in our collective grief. we felt the soft summer air hold & comfort us. as the night sky deepened, i offered to run in & grab us some much needed refreshments.

i turned the corner to the basement fridge & my body froze.

all my senses were standing on edge.

she was there, my coach, calmly waiting for me.

i did not see her.

my entire body felt her.

her energy filled the room.

it was calm & warm & full of love. 

“hi mrs.mo” i said out loud, acknowledging her presence. “i will take care of your girls, i promise. see, i’m even getting them something to drink,” i awkwardly joked.

she lingered a moment longer & then faded.

i smiled as i felt her calm, warm energy move within me now. 

“energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.

~Albert Einstein

i brought the sodas up to my teammates. i spoke not a word of my encounter, until just a few years ago.

this was my introduction to completely new way of seeing the world.

i work with energy & see all living things as different conduits of energy. when a lifetime comes to an end, the energy shifts to the other side, into a different dimension. the energy shifts, but is not gone from our reach. it is there, flowing around, through, among, between & within us. 

in her lifetime, my coach taught me how to live a life of joy & integrity.

in her death, she taught me how energy changes & flows.

most importantly, though, her death taught me to

trust what i feel

but cannot always see.